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[原创] 100%会收到回复的英文邮件长什么样? [复制链接]

Rank: 6Rank: 6

发表于 2017-12-14 16:52:06 |显示全部楼层

今天来聊聊常见的英文邮件写作误区,以及正确的写作模板。

1.奇怪的语气

英文当中文讲,很多咱中国童鞋写的邮件都是拿中文里的语气直接翻译过来的,写在英文里就很奇怪。

例如:

I applied for the Summer Analyst position at your company's New York office and still haven’t gotten any notice from you. Your company has been my dream employer for years, so it would be a pity if I didn’t have a chance to interview with your company.

看到这里立刻能脑补一个画面:一个中国童鞋一脸虔诚的说“我真的特别喜欢你们公司,如果没能跟你们公司面试真的是太遗憾了!”

这话中文听着多有诚意啊,但直接翻译成英文就觉得超级无敌囧。如果你想表达相似的意思,不妨试试这么说:

I wanted to follow-up with you because I have not yet heard back regarding my application status. Your company is my first choice, so I would greatly appreciate the opportunity to interview with your team.

这样说比较符合美国的书面邮件说法,而且显得很淡定。

命令的语气,很多同学在邮件里附上自己简历之后会扔一句“Please review my resume”给我,感觉跟大老板扔了一沓儿材料在我脸上似的。下次换个客气一点的语气好吗?比如这样:

I would greatly appreciate any advice you have on refining my resume for opportunities in this field.

2.要命的语法错误

我这里说的是最最最普通的语法错误,拎个小学生过来都能挑出来一箩筐那种。

例如:

Hi : I found your contact information from alumni directory. Please allow me introducing myself firstly.My name is XXX, MSF student from University of YYY. I will graduate from my Master degree from University of YYY with major in Finance. I`m seeking forentry-level position in finance industry. May I know whether your company hasopening positions or has plan to recruit in your group? Thanks for your time. I`m looking forward to hearfrom you soon.

(红色部分是小编找出来的几个错误)

我可以很负责任的告诉你,大多数美国的HR或者职场人收到这封邮件的人都会直接忽略的。原因就是那些无谓的语法错误。

好多童鞋觉得这些都是小事,不就是少了个a,to do换成doing,怎么那么矫情,能看懂意思不就完了吗?对于求职来讲,只要简历满足要求,不会有人在意这些小细节的。但是多数HR或者职场人士看到这个档次的邮件就直接pass了,简历都不会打开看一眼的。这么短一封邮件,你完全可以查到100%无错误再发。

你对自己求职都这么不上心,我怎么指望你给我工作更上心?

3.请端住你的Professional范儿

好多女生写邮件很可爱,会很激烈的表达自己很激动的心情,比如会写什么“I feel so lucky to find you to talk! I have hope again!!!…“一堆感叹号看的人三滴汗。其实完全可以淡定的写成I am excited to connect with you就足够表达你的心情了。感叹号也尽量少用,用多了感觉你还是个热血少年,不是职场中人。

再有就是一定要避免用^^ T_T或者~~之类的聊天经常用的表情。如果写给朋友倒没什么大问题。如果你是写给职场上的人,这些都是挺不专业的,让人觉得你不够成熟。

4.邮件内容太长

给职场中人写英文邮件(尤其是为了找工作找实习跟素未谋面的人联系),切忌太长。

对于求职邮件(比如networking发给校友的邮件)这里给大家一个准则:如果你的邮件多于10句话,你就不要发了。人家本来就不认识你,如果20秒读不完你的邮件,不知道你到底要干嘛,就直接pass了,毕竟大家都很忙。

在求职中很多同学把cover letter当networking邮件发,三大段儿,跟生平似的,把简历里的内容重复一遍,一点额外信息都没有,这又是何必呢?你应该说一些简历里说不出来的,比如为什么想联系对方,为什么对这家公司感兴趣。

如何拯救你的英文邮件?

首先应该遵循写邮件的“3C原则”:

Deliver a Clear message

Use Correct grammar, vocabulary and punctuation

Be Concise

所以3C原则就是 clear 清晰,correct 正确,concise 简明。记住重点在于更有效的传达信息,而不是用你丰富的词汇量给对方留下印象,用更简单的句型和清晰的组织来使你写的东西更易读。

一,标题

曾经有调查表明,80%的Cold Email都取决于你的主题。但是,有人不写主题栏;有的人就写一个词:help, Hi, advice;有的人就写些不知所云的词:New Things什么的……

也许很多人没有意识到,Email的标题是很重要的一部分,邮件给对方的第一印象就是透过标题来完成。如果标题没有内容,看起来像群组垃圾邮件,命运就是直接进入垃圾桶。你想想,自己收到这些主题的邮件,不会当成垃圾邮件直接删掉吗?

举例:

不专业标题:How are you?

专业标题:Introduction: Our Product Offerings for Bright Ideas Imports

不专业标题:Can we work together?

专业标题:Proposal: Bright Ideas Imports—ABC‘s Partnership Opportunity

解决方法很简单,主题栏就在下面这几个模板里面选就好了:

[University Name] Student – [Industry Abbreviation, e.g. IB or PE]Internships

[Firm Name] – Summer Internships

[University Name] Student – [Industry Name] Internships

[University Name] student seeking career advice

[Person’s Name] – Referral – [Industry Abbreviation, e.g. IB or PE]Internships

Thanks for your time on [Day]

二,正文

1.亲切自然:可以用We就不要用You

每一封email往来,都是你和与收信人之间的交流。很多人以为写商业email就应该用「生意腔」,于是把本来有感情基础的email写得官样。

把每次email往来当成是跟对方进行了一次交谈,只不过交谈的介面是email。用我/我们做主词,这样才能让email读起来热情、友善,像朋友交谈那样简单自然,亲切又人性化。

官样e-mail:Your mail has been received.

亲切e-mail:I have received your mail.

官样e-mail:Your complaint is being looked into.

亲切e-mail:We are looking into your complaint.

官样e-mail:You will receive your computer by next week.

亲切e-mail:We are happy to have your order. We shipped it by July 21.

2.一针见血:可以清楚就不要模糊

写email最忌讳文绉绉,要打电话给人就用call,要去拜访人就说visit,不要刻意用自以为正式但其实意思模模糊糊的字。

模糊字:contact

清楚字:call/write/visit

模糊字:soon

清楚字:by March 15

3.言简意赅:可以1个字就不要2个

大部份商业人士跟你一样,每天都要阅读大量email。所以email一定要写得简明扼要。与主题无关或者无助于e-mail目的之内容,请毫不留情的舍弃。

冗长句:The paper jam had the effect of a destructive force onthe copy machine.

精简句:The paper jam destroyed the copy machine.

冗长句:We have enclosed a brochure which shows further details of manufacture.

精简句:The enclosed brochure shows further manufacture details.

4.语汇朴实:用对方看得懂的关键字

每个行业都有自己的行话,写email时要确定别人懂不懂你的行话,也尽量不用华丽词藻。西方人习惯使用朴实的语言。

迂回句:We look forward to a bright and glorious future of cooperation.

朴实句:We hope to have the opportunity to work with you inthe future.

迂回句:The choice of exogenous variables in relation tomulti-collinearity is contingent upon the derivations of certain multiple correlation coefficients.

朴实句:Supply determines demand.

5.技巧表达:让人觉得you’re helpful

同样一件事说法不同,得到回应就不同,有技巧的说法让人乐于为你效劳。

拙劣说法:In order to complete the claim you made, simply…

漂亮说法:To complete your transaction,…

拙劣说法:We want to get our check.

漂亮说法:To keep your account in the preferred customer class,send our check for NT$200,000 today.

邮件常用句型

1. 开场白:

Hope you are doing well.

Hope this email finds you well.

Hope all is well.

2. 回复开场白:

Further to our conversation earlier, .........

As discussed over the phone, .......

As checked with.....

Thanks for your kind reply.

Thanks for your prompt reply.

Thanks for your kind feedback.

Regarding...

As per my email sent on xxxx

Please help to clarify....

3. 结尾:

We are looking forward to hearing from you.

Many thanks for your support.

Please kindly share us a feedback by today.

FYI: For your information

For your reference



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